Suicide Prevention

I have a friend who is going through some very rough times right now.  As with many people, she’s caught in the tides of the economic recession.  She’s experienced some personal losses, and she’s having trouble thinking of reasons to keep going.  I’m very touchy about the topic of suicide – my father committed suicide, and I’ve had two former romantic involvements decide to end their lives (not while I was with them, but it’s still a shock to receive the phone call, however many years elapse between the end of the romantic relationship and the end of their life).

The tragedy of suicide is that it’s a permanent response to a temporary situation.  No matter how awful things are – no matter how terrible life seems – each day does bring the possibility of change, of improvement.   It’s important to remember that – cling to that thought, if need be – as one deals with the demons, internal and external, plaguing one’s life.

My father’s choice to end his life meant that he missed my graduation from college; he didn’t walk me down the aisle at my wedding; he missed being part of his grandchildren’s lives, he never knew the wonderful people they’ve grown up to be, and he’s missed the chance to be part of their children’s lives.  He’s a very dim memory for my oldest niece, and nothing but a photo to my other niece and my nephew.  We’re all the poorer for the loss, and therein lies the real pain of suicide – not only does it deprive the person who commits suicide of all the potential joy and love in their lives, it robs everyone connected to them of that joy and love as well.

I wanted to come  up with something to help her see the light of the dawn, however dark the night – thus, this five card reading.  Five is the number of divinity in humanity, of our partnership with the divine, and five seemed like a good number for finding one’s way back to the path of life and divine connection to sustain one through dark times.

For this reading, I used the Wheel of Change deck by Alexandra Genetti, as it’s an excellent source of images filled with life and divine energy.  The links below will take you to the card images on Alexandra’s site (if available – not all the images are online), so you can see them as you read.

Card 1:  One good thing about today. This card helps focus on what is good about things today. No matter how bad they are, there’s at least one good thing about today, even if it’s just that you woke up this morning and the universe is giving you another chance to create your life.

The card that came up was The Devil.  In Alexandra’s deck, this card represents primal nature, the unbridled life force, and the cycles of life and death, light and dark.  This card is saying that however awful it feels, this is part of the cycle of life – this, too, shall pass, and in the meantime, tune into the joy of simply being alive and having functional senses to take in the beauty of the world and the energy of life.

Card 2:  One reason to stay here for others.  No matter how lonely or alone you feel, you touch more lives than you realize. People come together for reasons conscious and unconscious, and among those unconscious reasons are the agreement we make with others on a soul level to grow and experience life together.  This card can help you see how you are connected to others, and how your choice to end this incarnation would affect them.  This isn’t about guilt, this is about honoring the trust others have placed in you as part of their lives and community and fulfilling the agreements you made with them.

The card that came up was the 7 of Disks, which shows baskets of grains from all over the world, and a small mouse.  This card suggests sharing – being able to give to others, and being able to accept what others have to give (which is often very difficult to do with emotionally sensitive people, who are nonetheless champions at giving, leading to emotional depletion and depression).  The presence of the mouse reminds us that the universe provides for all creatures, no matter how small.  If the universe cares for a mouse, surely the universe cares for us!  We can allow others to care for us and give to us, and we can allow ourselves to receive from others in a healthy, mutually beneficial way.

Card 3:  One reason to stay here for yourself.  No matter how pointless or futile life seems, you are here for a reason.  This card can help you remember what that is, and start you thinking about how to get back on the path of your life.

The card that I drew was the Knight of Wands, which shows a Tibetan monk in meditation with dorje and bell in front of a fire.  I read this as a call for her to remember her soul purpose, her passion, and to think about those people, places, causes, and pursuits which move her to passion and to action.  There’s definitely a connection to soul purpose her, and clearly she hasn’t finished what she came to do.

Card 4:  One thing to do for yourself to start the healing process.  Suicide isn’t usually about the wish to die; it’s usually the desire to stop the pain inside, and death usually seems like the only way to make it stop.   Death really doesn’t make it stop, it just transfers the pain from you to others.  This card is to help you think of one thing, however small, you can do to take care of yourself and deal with the pain that is creating such extreme thoughts and feelings.

The card I drew was the Four of Swords, which shows an Egyptian mummy case, canoptic jars, and four daggers pointed at the heart chakra of the mummy.  This doesn’t sound like a card of healing, but I think it *is* very much about healing – the need to let go of what is no longer necessary, useful, or helpful, of being able to shed what is holding her back so that she can move forward.   Easier said than done, but it *can* be done, and the universe is being undeniably explicit about her need to do this.  Even pain can be comfortable in its familiarity, but it’s still not good to hold onto it.  This is a time for her to really let go of old emotional and mental habits, and break out of the shell of her old life.

Card 5: The sun which will rise in the morning.  No matter what, the sun rises every morning, bringing light, life, and another chance to make things right within yourself.  This card is your reason to make it through the night, and get out of bed in the morning.

The card that came up was the Prince of Disks, which shows a man working in his shop to create a wagon wheel.  The Tarot is telling her that she has skills and purpose unique to her, and that the universe needs her to stay and manifest those gifts to heal herself and make the world a better place.  The wheel is especially interesting here, representing movement and change, and also capturing in a more practical way the cyclical nature of life first brought out in The Devil card.

For my friend, the cards aren’t putting a spin on the fact that she’s in a down cycle and a time of darkness and pain.  The Tarot is providing encouragement by reminding her that if she can bring herself to face the pain and let go of the patterns which hold her back, she will find that she is able to create a life for herself which allows her to pursue her passions with the skills and talents she has, and to shape a fulfilling, creative life of purpose.

I hope you never feel this close to the edge, or have to give support to someone you love who feels this way.  But if you do, perhaps this spread will help.

Call a friend. Call your doctor. Call the Suicide Prevention Hotline for your city/country. In the US, the number is 1.800.273.8255. If you’re not sure of the number where you live, it’s just a Google search away.

Blessings on you and those you love.